TIGERSTAR'S MAJESTIC COMMERCIALS (or so Tigerstar says)
by SliverClaw
Summary: "Hello people! This is a company Tigerstar is opening so if you want something to be made into a commercial, review-" the camera cat barely finished before being cut off by the director Tigerstar. "What's a people?" (Rated T for deaths by Tigerstar)
1. MWCHANIC CLAN

MECHANIC CLAN

"Hello fellow reader! This long lost clan has been recreated! HAMMERSTAR IS BACK. Awww yeaaaaaa." Hawkstar growled.

The director of this commercial said "Whoa whoa whoa CUT. Seriously Hawkfrost, aww yea? THATS NOT PART OF THE SCRIPT."

"But it makes me #SWAG" Hawkfrost spat. "YOUR A TERRIBLE COMMERCIAL DIRECTOR DAD!"

"Oh you did not just call the great and powerful Tigerstar a terrible commercial director." Tigerstar hissed. "GET OFF THIS STAGE THEN! MAPLESHADE WILL BE A BETTER ACTOR THAN YOU!"

Hawkfrost glared at his father. "I WILL BE BACK FOR-" Tigerstar leaped at Hawkfrost and killed him with a swift bite. "MAPLESHADE YOUR NEXT!"

The new actor Mapleshade padded onto stage and winked at the camera. "Ever heard of Mechanic clan? WELL IF YOU HAVENT THEN DIE!" Mapleshade clawed the camera until it was shattered and then smiled happily. Now you've heard of Mechanic clan. Mapleshade, OUT!"

All Tigerstar was able to do was clap his paws. "That was amazing Mapleshade! The way you threatened the camera was just awesome."

"Oh thank you Tigerstar!" Mapleshade purred in delight.

The camera cat Tansyheart stared at them in shock starting to wish she had never sighted up for this job. "Ahem Tigerstar. Should I put this on the fan fiction sight now?" She asked.

"What's a fan fiction and what's a sight?" Mapleshade asked while exchanging questioning looks with Tigerstar.

"Whatever." Tigerstar shrugged. "Just make sure everyone sees the majestic commercial."

Tansyheart nodded. "Ok I just uploaded it on you tube too."

"Whats a youtube?" Mapleshade asked once again. "You know what? Just... Ignore my questions. Your the expert right Tansyheart?"

"I sure am." Tansyheart said proudly. "It's my specialty."

"DID YOU JUST BOAST IN FRONT OF TIGERSTAR?" The director growled.

"What? No, what made you think that?" Tansyheart asked sarcastically. "Let me just shut off this camera before you kill me."

* * *

**tell me what commercial to do next and who the actor(s) should be :P**


	2. Scourges claw sharpening service

**Scourge's Claw Sharpening Service**

"I still don't like the fact that Scourge is the director of this commercial." Tigerstar mumbled.

"As your director, I demand Tigerstar to be the actor for my commercial." Scourge sneered. "I demand you Tigerstar."

Tansyheart handed Tigerstar the script and he read it with horror in his eyes. "I-i-i have to let YOU sharpen MY already MAJESTIC claws?" Tigerheart stammered.

Scourge leaped gracefully onto the stage and gave the camera cat a thumbs up to start recording. "My devious rouges are you not a great enough fighter? Come to your local dump to get your claws sharpened for fighting. I'm sure you know me, THE Scourge." He beamed a smile at the camera. "The only cost is 8,000,000 dollars but I'm sure all you can manage."

"YOU CALL YOURSELF _THE _SCOURGE? THEN I AM _THE ONE AND ONLY_ TIGERSTAR!" Tigerstar yowled furiously. "MY CLAWS ARE ALREADY SHARP WITHOUT HIS DUMB SERVICE!" Tigerstar raised his fourth claw up to the camera slowly.

"Tigerstar! There could be kits watching this! What if they stuck up there fourth claw to their parents?" Tansyheart scolded.

*Hawkfrost appears using his magical Darkforest powers* "Hey daddy watcha doin?"

Tigerstar stuck his fourth claw up to his son. "Daddy swears! MOMMY HELP"

*Sasha magically appears using her rainbow sparkle powers* "What did miserable Tigerstar do to you Hawky?"

"HE SWORE!" Hawkfrost cried.

"I AM MAJESTIC SASHA AND BTW I NEVER LOVED YOU!" Tigerstar growled.

"YOU ARE MISERABLE AND I NEVER LOVED YOU EITHER!" Sasha growled back.

"MAJESTIC"

"MISERABLE"

"MAJESTIC"

"MISERABLE"

"YOUR BOTH MISERABLE PARENTS!" Scourge screeched. "Sasha abandoned both her kits while Tigerstar attempted to make them evil!"

Hawkfrost put his paw on Scourge's shoulder. "I think we all know who's the new and better director here."

"Don't you dare say Scourge Hawky." Tigerstar hissed.

"Of course its me Tigerstar." Scourge laughed.

"What? No its me mousebrains!" Hawkfrost said shoving his snout proudly in the air. "DUH"

Tansyheart quickly ended the recording but not quick enough to here Tigerstar say "TEAR HAWKY APART AND MAKE SURE WE LET HIM ROT IN THE YUCKY PLACE CALLED STARCLAN." Scourge and Tigerstar lunged at Hawky-

* * *

Lionblaze turned off the TV to save his kits from seeing anymore.

"Aww dad they were about to kill Hawkfrost alive! That's entertaining!"


	3. Annoyance away

ANNOYANCE AWAY

"Hey fan fictioners! Your favorite actors here, Daisy" daisy mewed "and Millie!"

"Todays product is the annoyance away spray! Just spray an annoying warrior with this and they'll be off to a random island on Mars!" Millie said smiling. "Now the great and powerful Tigerstar will demonstrate!"

Tigerstar walked onto stage and waved at the camera. "Pretend Hawkfrost is here and he starts to-"

"HEY DADDY WHADYA DOIN TO-" Tigerstar sprayed Hawkfrost with the annoyance away and he disappeared. "LOOK AT THIS WONDERFUL THING! NO MORE HAWKFROST IN A DECADE!"

Tansyheart slowly crept onto the stage and grabbed the product away. "DIE TIGERSTAR I WILL BE THE NEW DIRECTOR!" The camera cat sprayed Tigerstar with it and he disappeared! "Now Daisy go be the camera cat and Millie will continue being the actor." Tansyheart ordered

"Bit I wanna be the actor!" Daisy whined.

"Your annoying Daisy." And with that Tansyheart sprayed Daisy. "MILLIE YOUR THE NEW CAMERA CAT!"

Knowing how dangerous Tansyheart was, Millie quickly rushed to the camera. "Who's the actor now?"

Tansyheart yowled in fury. "ITS ME MOUSEBRAIN YOUR ALSO ANNOYING!" A second later Daisy was gone.

* * *

"Hey dad do you think Tansyheart can spray us?"one of Lionblaze's kits asked.

"If course not." Lionblaze assured his kits. "I will protect you!"

*Tansyheart appears using her awesome spraying powers* "WHAT DID YOU SAY LIONBLAZE?"

* * *

"Didn't Tansyheart know I had teleportation powers given to me by starkit Mary-sue herself?" Tigerstar hissed. "SHE CALLED ME ELECTRONICALIPADTIGERNIGHTSTAR INSTEAD OF MY MAJESTIC NAME TIGERSTAR!"

"Daddy Tansyheart is spraying everyone! Shes taking over the world!" Hawkfrost whined.

Tigerstar growled in annoyance. "Hawkfrost don't you even say it."

"YEP, ANNOYANCE AWAY PART TWO!" hawkfrost screeched in tigerstars ear.

**so guys I'm going on vacation so part two may take about three days to finish...**

**"REVIEW." Scourge demanded Tigerstar.**

**"OH HAIL NO (hell no)!" Tigerstar yowled. "I have a world to save and right now we need people to help us to fight such as...**

**STARKIT!"**


	4. ANNOYANCE AWAY PART 2

**hey guyz I would just like to let you know that I did pm Tansyheart and asked for her permission to use her character, She said she was fine with it so... Yep.**

* * *

**Annoyance away PART 2**

"Ok so I have a plan daddystar." Hawkfrost boasted right away.

Tigerstar was rather confused at the sentence. "DaddyStar? HAWKY EXPLAIN YOURSELF!" Tigerstar yowled.

Hawkfrost rolled his eyes. "Your my daddy, your also Tigerstar so you mix them together to get Daddystar! DUH DAD I THOUGHT YOU WENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF BROKENSTARS REMADE SHADOWCLAN."

Now it was Tigerstar I mean... Daddystars time to roll his eyes. "If I went to that terrible place then you'd be in Mouseford university. Anyway, what's your great plan?"

"We get Starkit AND, I SAID AND, AND, AND-"

"Ok we get it HAWKY. And what?" Tigerstar growled impatiently.

"AND SCOURGE!" Hawkfrost meowed happily. "Both if them can help us fight!"

Tigerstar facepalmed himself. "And how exactly are we going to get them to come?"

*starkit and Scourge appear using the Captainsparklez power of awesomeness. (So many references)* "OHMERGOSH IST TEGRETAR!" Starkit squealed "I stargleam noew!"

"Stargleam please just shut your mouth!" Scourge hissed.

"Buz I wan to luv treegastar!" Stargleam whined.

Tigerstar suddenly looked horrified. "Did starkit I mean Stargleam just call me Treegastar and she wanted to Uh love me?"

*Tansyheart appears* "NO MORE LOVE FOR YOU STARGLEAM BECAUSE IM GONNA SPRAY YOU MUAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Stargleam rushed in front of Tigerstar protectively. "NUUU YU NO HURT TRIGGERSPIT!" Stargleam used her magical rainbow eyes to shoot rainbow lasers at Tansyheart's spray bottle and knocked it out of her hand.

"I got it!" Scourge grabbed the spray before Tansyheart could and sprayed her. "Finally, everything is over"

"Destroy the spray!" Tigerstar demanded.

Stargleam purred excitedly. Using her bright purple fur, Stargleam touched it and it vanished. "MARY MEH TIMESTRAP!"

"How about you shut up And never talk again and I will let you be my new camera cat?" Tigerstar said as sweetly as he could.

Stargleam nodded and raced to the camera. "I WIL NUT MAKE YU DIASAPOINTED TAMERATS!"

"SHUTS UPES YU MAKE ME TALKK LIK YU NOEW!" Tigerstar cried.

* * *

"hey Lionblaze can we talk lik starglem?"

"NO SHUT YOUR LITTLE MOUTHES UP OR YOU WONT BE APPRENTICES!" Lionblaze shrieked.

**"Tigerstar review. You owe me for saving the world" scourge growled**

**tigerstar shook his head. "Nuh uh Scourge I have a date with Stargleam this afternoon. But... Fine I'll review." Tigerstar hissed in annoyance. **

**Scourge looked at what Tigerstar wrote for the review. "You wrote review for a review!"**

**"a review in a review reminds me of dreams inside of dreams which is-"**

**"INCEPTION THE MOVIE!"**

**DUN DUN DUN**


	5. Leafpools Kittycola

**Leafpool's Kittycola**

"Hey cats! Are you feeling down, old or even miserable like Tigerstar?" Leafpool asked.

"What did you say Leafpoop?" Tigerstar growled.

"Dad can't you even hear? Because I heard the whole sentence." Hawkfrost smirked.

Stargleam the new camera cat meowed "Shoud ii stap recorning?"

"SHUT UP STARGROSS!" Tigerstar yowled. "Why isn't Tansy here?!"

"Um incase you haven't noticed yet Tansyheart is never coming back." Scourge Hissed.

"I WANT TANSYHEART BACK!" Tigerstar cried.

"Eww Daddystar you got your yucky eye liquid on me!" Hawkfrost whined. "I just got my fur cleaned at-"

"Hawky shut up save it for the next commercial." Tigerstar growled. "Carry on Leaf-{#*."

"Tigerstar don't cuss at me." Leafpool hissed. "Or you and Stargleam won't get married."

"WHUST? TISGERSTRIPE PWOMISEDD DAT WEE WOUD GEAT MARRIES!" Stargleam pouted.

"Leafpoop, fine as long as you just don't talk about our _marriage._" Tigerstar mumbled In defeat.

"Ok Tumblrstar." Leafpoop smiled. "After you drink this kittycola you'll feel happier than Firestar and Spottedleaf in love!"

* * *

"Firestar is there something you'd like to tell me about you and Spottedleaf?" Sandstorm asked while glaring at her mate.

Firestar shuffled his paws uncomfortably. "I, we used to meet together in dream a lot and, and I think I love her but I still love you WAY more Sandstorm."

Sandstorm yowled in fury and launched herself at Firestar. "DIE!" Sandstorm screeched.

* * *

"Buy it now and we'll lower the price by negative twenty dollars!" Leafpool finished.

"FINALLY YOUR DONE!" Tigerstar groaned.

"Hmm Tigerstar I think I remember a wedding being canceled." Leafpool said.

"Nononono Leafpoop shush." Tigerstar pleaded. "I'll give you all my leaf armor!"

"Just let me be director and I'll forget about the canceled wedding." Leafpool simply said.

Tigerstar decided that he would rather give up his job rather than letting Stargleam whine. Tigerstar shivered as he pictured Stargleam talking. "Ok Leafpoop. I'm gonna go find Tansyheart and start a new commercial company."

"TIGERSTARS QUEST!" Hawkfrost yowled excitedly. "COMING SOON TO YOUR NEAREST FOREST!"

Tigerstar grabbed Hawkfrost by the ear and started his majestic quest.

**"REVIEW THIS INSTANT OR A MARRIAGE WILL BE YOU KNOW WHAT!" Scourge threatened.**

**"FINE YOU BIG FAT CROWFOOD!" Tigerstar growled Miserably. **


	6. Jayfeather's Blind Spray!

**Jayfeather's Blind Spray!**

"Go!" Leafpool said. The camera clicked on and started filming.

"Hi hi, cats. Ever wanted to be not not not not not not blind? We'll you've come to the right place." Jayfeather meowed grumpily. "Ughhh why do I have to do this?" He groaned.

"Carry on!" Leafpool growled. "Jayfeather you are so not my fav child. LIONBLAZE IS! Atleast he did good for the clans! What have you lazy cat done?"

-awkward silence-

"I am doing good for the clans with this product." Jayfeather said. "Now gimme Cinderheart."

*Cinderheart gets pushed onto stage.* "Why am I here Jayfeather?" Cinderheart asked.

"You are getting the great honor of being the test subject of my product." Jayfeather sarcastically meowed. Jayfeather grabbed his product and sprayed Cinderheart in the eyes.

"JAYFEATHER BIRDBRAIN WHAT DID U JUST DO TO ME?" Cinderheart yowled. "I CANT SEE FOR THE SAKE OF STARCLAN!"

"Just look how happy our customer is!" Jayfeather said happily - for the first time in forever.

* * *

"Hey daddy why is mommy blind?" The kit asked.

Lionblaze looked both terrified and madified at the same time. "JAYFEATHER YOU LITTLE {%#**~{^,€\+^]€}£~+\^~€~*^{!" Lionblaze screeched at the TV Not knowing the kits were staring at him.

* * *

"SEE MOM ITS A SUCCESSFUL PRODUCT!" Jayfeather said proudly. "Are you happy now?"

"Took you long enough!" Leafpool hissed.

* * *

**guyz I dunno what the plot is going to be for TIGERSTAR'S QUEST soooo could u guyz gimme some ideas? **

**P.S. REVIEW FOR TIGERSTARRRRRRRRRRRR oh and review for HAWKY too.**


	7. Lionblaze's lion mitts and Tansyhat!

Lionblaze's Lion Mitts

"WOOOO GO DAD!" The kit cheered. "ITS ABOUT TIME HE MADE A PRODUCT!"

"I know right?" The other kit said. "Finally Lionblaze isn't a embarrassment to us."

* * *

"Ever had to save a kit from a fire but burned your paws off?" Lionblaze asked. "Well that is a problem no more! Next time, just buy my lion mitts and your fur won't burn off!"

"I MISSSSSS TIMERSCAR!" Stargleam complained. "Hes a butter directri!"

"SHUT UP STARGROSS!" Leafpool hissed. "My favorite son is performing his commercial!"

"TRIGGERSTAMP IES AWISUMER DAN YU!" Stargleam yowled.

"You better shut that pretty mouth of your or-"

"AHEM." Lionblaze coughed. "AHEM AHEM AHEM AHAHAH EM AHEM A-"

"We get it Lionblaze." Leafpool whispered. "We all know that Stargross is from the dark forest."

"HAY!" Stargleam protested. "I NO FORM DAK FROERSTEST!"

Lionblaze facepalmed himself with a sigh. "Ladies ladies break it up. Daddystar is the better director above all of us as we know but we don't need to argue about it Stargross and mother."

"WHAT? LIONBLAZE GET OFF THE STAGE!" Leafpool screeched. "YOUR NO SON OF MINE EITHER! JUST AS BAD AS JAYFEATHER."

Lionblaze rolled his eyes and continued. "These mitts only cost a billion dollars each! Great deal right?" Lionblaze winked. "Of course, if your Daddystar then you can get them for free."

"Lionblazeeeeeeeeeee" Leafpool growled.

"To be honest lamepool Daddystar really was a better director even though he's on his quest right now." Lionblaze sneered. "What's next? Tansyheart is Tansyhat?"

"I NEED TO MAKE THAT PRODUCT, I MEAN WHO WOULDN'T WANT A TANSY HAT?"

* * *

"Lamepool your so mean!" Tansyheart cried. "NO ONE CALLS ME TANSYHAT!"

"TANSYHAT!" Tigerstar yowled. "COME BACK TO OUR COMMERCIAL COMPANY PLEASES!"

"Where did you come from?" Tansyheart asked suspiciously. "How did you even get onto my super secret base on mars?"

"We followed your scent from earth with the help of Dovewing I mean Dovewig." Hawkfrost explained.

"Dovewig? Anyway, if I go back can we get rid of Lamepool and Stargross?" Tansyheart pleaded.

"YUP!" Tigerstar answered. "Everything will be back to normal."

"Your such a liar Daddystar! As long as I'm in existence of this world nothing will be normal." Hawkfrost said proudly.

"Your right about that HAWKY! Since when did HAWKY start talking logically?" Tansyheart asked.

"Oh please Tansyhat everyone knows that the square route of 11 multiplied by 8 hundred thousand is plasma and dark matter combined. Wait, and adding a mouse too." Hawkfrost meowed cooly.


	8. VOTE NOW OR ELSE GO TO DOCTOR JAYJAY

**TIGERSTAR'S MAJESTIC COMMERCIALS**

Hawkfrost turned on the camera and padded up onto the stage. "WAZUP STUPID CLAN CATS! HAVE YOU EVER WANTED A SECOND CHANCE MACHINE MADE BY HOLLYLEAF? OR A TAIL BE GONE MACHINE NY BERRYNOSE? HOW ABOUT EVEN A DOVE WIG? I HEAR THOSE ARE SELLING GOOD!"

"Hawky. Off. Now." Tigerstar growled.

"I still don't have my annoyance away spray." Tansyheart muttered.

"What was that Tansyhat?" Tigerstar asked. "I still don't have my amazingly majestic picture of Tigerstar that has my terrifically majestic claw signature? I thought so."

"Ya sure." Tansyheart meowed sarcastically.

Hawkfrost started crying. "WHY DONT YOU LOVE ME DOVEWING? WE CAN MAKE ALL THE WIGS YOU WANT! I MEAN YOUR FAKE MATE TIGERHEART'S MOTHER IS MY HALF SISTER!"

Dovewing appeared from behind Hawkfrost nearly scaring him to death. "Here I made a dove wig just to show my love for you."

"THANK YOU DOVEWING!" Hawkfrost screeched as he put on his hat. "Wait why is there so much bird chocolate?"

"Bird chocolate?" Tigerstar snarled. "You mean bird poo?"

"Whatevas they're the same thing." Hawkfrost replied. "Anywho I thought dove wigs were supposed to be made of doves to ensure less chocolate droppings from the birds..."

Tigerheart appeared in front of Hawkfrost. "HA! JAKES TOTES ON YOU! ITS ACTUALLY A PIGEON WIG!"

"OMG I have to take a selfie!" Dovewing held up her cloud brand phone to take a pic of Hawkfrost covered in chocolate from birds and herself.

"#hawkyisadumppoop!" Tigerheart yowled also taking a selfie. "FYI This is a Dove wig commercial. FREE DOVE WIGS! YOU CAN CHOOSE WHATEVER BIRDS YOU'D LIKE!"

Tansyheart picked out a eagle wig from the dove wig store and put it on TIGERSTAR'S MAJESTIC HEAD. "It looks perfect." Tansyheart purred.

"No Tansyhat now the eagles are ripping my head appar- AHHHHHHHHH FOX DUNG ON YOU TANSYHEART!"

This only managed to make Tansyheart purr even more and louder. "I should buy more Eagle Hats." She laughed. "Guyz I recommend you do buy one because then. Tigerstar will say your name right!"

"First time Tansyhat has recommended an item other than annoyance away..." Hawkfrost said crazily. "#FLUFFYNARWHALSAREMAJESTIC!"

"Aww HAWKY is growing up so much as to using the ginormous word majestic." Tigerstar sniffed.

**Vote to do what next! Berrynoses machine, Hollyleaf's machine or even others (Cough Tansy hat cough)!**


End file.
